You want me to pick and eat WHAT: snap peas on a trellis
Certainly, life would be a lot simpler if I (or you) had our way all the time. In many situations, dictatorship ultimately appears to be such a simple solution: my way or the highway, you’d say, slashing greenhouse emissions or implementing universal health care or heck doing WHATEVER it is that’s on your burning agenda. But no. Most of life is compromise, and much of communal living is searching for that compromise, but…it does help to have a burning agenda.
In our house, it’s my husband who’s the more recalcitrant. I think back to when, as a preteen, I was learning to ride horses, and one of the first things you learn is you need to speak softly and not make sudden movements or you’ll spook that horse, losing all trust. Husbands appear to be the same way, and, given their size, they (in my singular experience) can become just as easily spooked AND immediately become as immovable an object as any 1500 lb. quarterhorse, snorting and stomping their feet in indignation. So! Lots of change is taken by baby steps around here. Speak softly, I say. Move slowly. Someone, though, still needs to lead.
But substitute “recalcitrant husband” for whatever your own situation is: perhaps it’s 8 and 10 year old children who resist new foods, or a wife or a grandfather who insists on doing things the way they’ve always been done. Introduce change slowly: over time, say, you can substitute more and more whole-wheat flour in your bread and baked goods for less and less nutritionally empty white flour. New greens on the plate, lovingly grown and harvested and cooked by you: well, tell that 3- or 30-year old that it’s okay, today, to dump ketchup on them to make them palatable, but tomorrow it could be different.
Another thing I know about working with horses: They move away from pressure. Heels in, reins free: they’re going to charge. Right heel in, right side of the bit tight: they’ll step left. Speaking softly all the way, encouraging them: you ARE a team if you work at it. Beating them, screaming, or just being hard on the bit and that’s going to be one resentful horse, and one really frustrated rider. Anyway, family members can be the same way. If your people aren’t happy about the changes you wish to implement overnight, then ease up on the reins, folks!