Local color


Yesterday I headed over to our fruit exchange (seed and feed) after making a trip to the lumber yard. (I do feel like I am cramming for a test, trying to get all this interior construction completed before it’s Gardening Time.) I had just loaded the wagon up with trim for some final upstairs projects (trimming out two closets) and I figured, what the hey, let’s see what’s doing at my favorite local store.

Seems their fruit is winding down: they have a huge cooler where they store orchards’ stock for the winter, doling things out to supermarkets and cider mills as the season goes on. I got a peck of Red Romes for $2. Yum! But the reason for my journey was really to see if they carried alfalfa meal. I could use it for a compost boost to get the last two piles up and heated before planting season.

So I was trading how-you-doings with the two old guys who run the warehouse. They don’t stock alfalfa meal, as it is usually a feed supplement, and in Fruit Land, there aren’t many animals who need it, “Though we do get some organic kooks like you who use the stuff.”

I looked into their seeds. As a rule, I prefer to get stuff that’s heirloom, and open-pollinated, and most of what they carry is kind of boring. BUT they did have castor beans, cheap.

“So you better be paying cash,” the bigger of the two guys says.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, because you don’t want the FiBbIes after you. You know they make ricin from them. And you know them spooks have everyone’s data, so that purchase will show up for SURE.”

Considering I bought 6 seeds, well…

But trading conspiracy theories wasn’t even the best reason for going. I got an orchardist tip. This guy lives about a mile from me! And he carries a LOT of different kinds of apples.

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6 responses to “Local color

  1. the Contrary Goddess

    Love the “organic kooks” thing! Brotherly love there!

    Also, I love castor beans. My great uncle on top of the mountain always grew them at the edges of his garden, and I’ve always wanted them, but they are so poisonous that husband has always refused. And we have Jimson Weed growing as a weed and it is hard to get more poisonous than that.

  2. Too funny. Yes, pay cash!

  3. Crunchy Chicken

    These people are paranoid about castor beans and the FBI, and they’re calling you a kook?

    Either way, that’s pretty darn hilarious.

  4. the County Clerk

    Of course you know that those SAME FiBles are watching this blog now. You typed in the three words to send up the flags.

    Oh and uh… Cash? What’s that?

    I don’t think I’ve seen cash in years. I went out for breakfast the other day and the waitress came over at the end with the bill and said, we only take cash. BIG PROBLEM.

    Like… paper money? Hmmmnnn.

    They took a check.

    Hank

  5. Hank: that’s why this whole episode was so funny. The last thing I could be considered is a threat. To weeds, maybe, or to mice in the gardening shed, but certainly not to the security of this nation.

    And yes, cash. Interestingly, last week I had to cut up my (only) credit card, a debit card attached to my checking account, because somebody hacked into a company from whom I made a mailorder purchase. I have been walking around with my checkbook. I have nearly forgotten how to write a check!

  6. I bought castor beans and did not pay cash. bummer. but I am probably already on their watch list given my political persuasion.

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