Comments on: On losing the island, gaining the continent

By: Kimberly Paris

Kimberly Paris — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:45:46 +0000

I remember that movie well, Son Rise was the title I believe.
I read recently that when you know a person with autism, you know just that- one person. Doesn’t mean you know much about autism, as the spectrum shoots it’s light in many directions.
The most meaningful thing to me in the book was what the author hears in a conversation. Just reading his account, stepping in his shoes, has led me to be significantly more patient when my guy says, for the sixteenth time, “Now, wait!” ” What do you want me to do?”
The author was a touch-me-not too.

By: El

El — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:10:04 +0000

Kimberly, how wonderful; *I* think you’re an angel, too. I haven’t read that book, thank you for recommending it. It’s kind of funny: I don’t have much of a desire to read much about autism, having experienced it as closely as I do. It was tough growing up with him and not having it as handy a label as it is today: everyone back then remembered the After School Special about the autistic boy who spun plates and they’d look at my brother and would say “but he’s not like that,” and that in itself is the mystery of the problem. It is no one-size-fits-all, as everyone exhibits varying forms of it, and some are absolutely life-altering.

WF, well, there are good sides to being a singleton, too (I am hoping as the mother of one). He’s fun to have around.

Mike, you can’t believe how industrious this guy is once you point him in the right direction: he’ll just do something until he’s told to stop. A great helper that way! And yeah, I had been hording leaf/grass/compost mulch all summer, about 5 yards’ worth. And there’s more out there! But indeed, even though it was a wet year we have a LOT of beans.

Stef, yes, I do know Temple Grandin’s work. It’s funny, talking about how different autism is, in that her desire to be held tightly (sensorial overload is very common in young autistics) led her to create the cattle chutes that have humanized the slaughter industry…my brother HATES being held, hates all bodily contact, in fact. But indeed I am sure your kids will all grow up to appreciate each other; you’ve modeled great behavior with your sis, after all.

John, one thing I do know about my brother that holds true with your nephew is how much they like the company of male relatives, and men in general. My brother gets to go to Notre Dame games with his uncles, for example; lots of male bonding going on. I hope you can make it this year: it would probably mean the world to him.

By: John A. Abel

John A. Abel — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:14:23 +0000

My nephew in Liverpool NY is Autistic.My sister in law is a special ed teacher and my brother and her noticed his ways early so he is really a pretty normal young man that likes his space seeing as he has three sisters to live with.He runs cross country and really looks forward to each spring when he gets together with uncles and male cousins at the NCAA frozen four hockey tourney which my brothers and I have done for a good ten years.I don’t go every year but the kids love it and Kevin really likes it and opens up.

By: stefaneener

stefaneener — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:01:38 +0000

Very big tent. I’m sure you know about Temple Grandin’s writing. I found her through gardening channels, but her viewpoint is very interesting.

That’s a lot of work — I cherish my time with my siblings and hope my children feel the same way, someday.

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:46:45 +0000

70 wheelbarrow loads! You really had some good help. Thank you for sharing this information, my mom worked with autistic children for many, many years but after reading those links and a few other things I was surprised at how little I really understood about autism.

My mind works the exact opposite as your brother when it comes to remembering dates, I can’t remember any dates ever without writing them down…not always a good thing for a married man.:) It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend.

By: WF

WF — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:07:47 +0000

Lovely post! As a single child…I always miss the reality of having a sibling so I could share some of the burden of the day. I am sure, he is glad that he has you under that big tent.

By: Kimberly Paris

Kimberly Paris — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:31:13 +0000

Have you read Born on a Blue Day?
I have always been passionate about research on autism and worked with two boys for four years before going back to school to finish my degree in teaching.
I have a child now that fits under that tent, and I love him to pieces.
Anyway, back to the first question, I continue to read books to educate myself on what experience my child in class may be having. Even after years of reading everything I can get my hands on, this personal account of an autistic young man really helped me gain a better picture of how my classroom might look for my little guy.
It is very rewarding when a parent tells you what an angel you are and how their home life has changed for the better with a positive classroom experience.
So glad you can love your brother just the way he came and model that for your girl.
Don’t we wish that were true for everyone?